
I've historically had terrible teeth, and I blame this on genetics. I have a strict twice daily regimen of brushing, flossing, and gargling, so my sorry state of affairs is not for lack of care.
In the past my dental adventures have included:
- A "Rapid Palatal Expander." This device is glued into both sides of your upper molars and spans the top of your mouth. You use a key to turn it everyday in order to break your upper palate, making your top and lower jaw fit together. The result of this was a HUGE gap between my two front teeth which made me learn to cover my mouth when emitting a hearty laugh. I still have this habit, but thanks to braces, the gap was closed.
- A skin graft to strengthen my lower front gums which were weakened by said braces. That procedure was NOT fun. They cut a swath of skin from the roof of your mouth and then sew it onto the place that needs the extra support. Since the colors of the inside of the mouth differ, you can still see the graft. Whenever I go to a new dentist, they always think that is so cool. Oh yeah? You try going through the procedure.
- A series of periodontal "deep cleaning" sessions. This is what made me become so fastidious about cleaning my teeth. Have you ever endured this treatment? They basically scrape and prod at your gums to make them more healthy, but really just end up creating a bloody mess. Again, NOT fun.
- Wisdom teeth extraction. Okay, this one wasn't so bad because they knocked me out, and it was my first introduction to vicodin.
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