携帯 Zombies

携帯 Zombie: (Noun)
(携帯 is "keitai," or cell phone, in Japanese)
A person who cannot disconnect themselves from texting on their phone. Will affect their gait and slow down their rate of movement. Can be easily distinguished if you are walking behind such zombie; the head will be slightly lowered and one arm will be raised but tucked into his/her side as the phone is held at chest height in order to successfully tap out a message.

This phrase I also coined during my first year in Japan. I had never even owned a cell phone before that in the States (pre-2001), and I was amazed at how deft the population in 日本 was at navigating all things possible while still texting on phones. At this point in technology history, texting wasn't that popular in the U.S. yet (we're always behind with these gadgets!) so I immediately began to recognize the people who were preoccupied with their phones while going about their daily business in 忙しい東京.

My favorite kind of 携帯 Zombie is the women who must write messages the minute they step off train platforms. Inevitably, there will be stairs to descend in order to reach the actual station exit, but these chicks did not let that deter them! Usually it was a woman in too-high heels, LV purse clutched at the side, perfectly manicured nails tipped with pretty Swarovski crystals á la 浜崎あゆみ tapping out the all-important, "今どこ？" as she teetered down the staircase, holding up the line of people behind her.

So what about the 携帯 Zombies in the U.S.? They're starting to proliferate at a fast rate. They vary from the 日本　kind in that Americans are too lame to use just one hand to type, and must have a full QWERTY keyboard which enables them to use both hands, er thumbs.

In your face non-thumb-having primate cousins!