MEDICINE IS WAR

The visit with my mom earlier this week for her two MRI procedures sure set my wheels in motion. I now understand what all the fuss is about.

In a prostrate position, you must lie still as a cadaver for about 30 minutes per procedure in this coffin-like apparatus while you're assaulted with a very loud assortment of beeps, grunts and other air raid-esque symphonies.

Although I couldn't hold her hand or anything, I remained in the room for "support." I was instantly transported back to my high school days of spinning vinyl from the likes of Test Dept. and Einstürzende Neubauten.

With nothing to do but think for the whole hour, my mind wandered to my recent metaphor studies. Spurred by the classic, Metaphors We Live By, by George Lakoff and Mark Johnson, I created my own (and surely already existing) proposition: MEDICINE IS WAR.

This book from 1980 was a landmark argument for the links between thought and language, perception and culture. L & J provide detailed analysis of metaphors such as: ANGER IS HEAT, SADNESS IS DOWN, and what I based my 18-page paper on, POLITICS IS SPORT.

The following few examples are what I came up with while being serenaded by modern technology for over an hour:

• We fight a war against terrorism = There are wars against cancer, depression, any malady basically.
• We battle an enemy = Sickness is to be battled against.
• Doctors drop a bomb regarding the diagnosis of a terminal illness.
• Medical malpractice is akin to friendly fire.
• The emergency room after a natural disaster can look like a battlefield.

Is it any surprise that both domains have their share of acronyms as well?
War: AWOL, MIA, SNAFU
Medicine: HMO, PPO, ER

And finally, my favorite metaphor: We shoot a loaded gun to take a life, while a nurse shoots us full of an injection to save a life.

Now that's an oxymoron.